AW YISS. It’s that time, beotch! Welcome to the Steotch Fine New England Needlearts Inaugural Mystery Stitchalong.
What is it?
We’re going to post a series of cross stitch patterns at this URL. Each pattern will reveal a little more of the design. You stitch along with us, and create a badass sampler of your very own – but you won’t know what you’ve created until you’ve invested way too much time to allow yourself to see it as anything but a triumph!
How often will you post the patterns?
We’ll post a new pattern twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays, beginning on May 27, 2013, ending on June 20, 2013. Follow our page on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get notified when there’s a new pattern posted. Otherwise check back here.
Share your progress using #steotchalong on Twitter or posting pix to our FB. We’ll have other ways to interact as we go along. If everyone is having trouble keeping up with the pattern schedule, we may slow down, so stay tuned.
What’s the finished sampler going to look like?
We’re not telling you, that’s what makes it mysterious and fun. But we’re really quite pleased with ourselves more than usual with this pattern. It will not suck. Think along the lines of House and the Cook. If you like those, you’ll probably like this a lot.
How big will the final sampler be?
It’ll be suitable for framing in a 5″x7″ frame, so a pretty decent size.
What materials will I need?
(*only small amounts; ** you’ll need the whole skein)
You can use any gauge of fabric, but if you want the final sampler to fit nicely in a 5×7 frame, we recommend Aida 16. We suggest “antique white.”
Do I have to be good at cross stitching?
If you’re totally new to cross stitching, we can’t promise you won’t have a little trouble keeping pace – but we’ve designed the pattern to be easy to complete for stitchers of all ability levels. If you fall behind, we won’t post spoilers above the fold on this link, so just don’t scroll down or read the comments.
The pattern uses cross stitches, quarter stitches, backstitching, and optional french knots. No fancy ninja stitching. It’s a very involved pattern, but doesn’t require extensive experience. We use blended entries (using 2 different colored threads to make stitches, instead of stitching with 2 of the same, like usual). We’ll post some basic directions, too.
Is it going to cost anything?
No, it’s free to play along. If you want to chip in something, you can. We’ve always said we’re like the Radiohead of infrequently-updated craft blogs.
Here are some links you can use to send us something via Paypal, if you want.
And yes, please share this announcement – the more people stitching, the more fun.
This lovely handmade baby record sampler will be the perfect accent for your home. Put it anywhere in the house. Just make sure it stays in the house. You hear me, sampler? That’s all you have to do, is stay put. Stay. In the house. DAMMIT CARL
Damn, that’s a cold ass sampler.
Rock that muthafucka
on Etsy. sold
OF COURSE IT’S A GOOD IDEA
That is good.
Take Etsy by the throat and make it give you what you desire.
Born a King on Bethlehem’s plain
Gold I bring to crown Him again
They treat me really nicely
They buy me all these icies
Frankincense to offer have I
Incense owns a Deity nigh
Dolce & Gabbana
Fendi and that Donna
Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Karan they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
You can look but you can’t touch it,
If you touch it Ima start some drama
I love to stitch, stitching’s my favorite!
If you’re another human who shares our affinity for elf culture, you might considering buying this Christmas sampler for your home.
In keeping with this spirit, this year we’ve teamed up with our sensei, the great Julie Jackson of Subversive Cross Stitch to bring you:
ERMAHGERD ERNAMERNT KITS – ten in all!
- Kits available over on Subversive Cross Stitch (includes all supplies to make your own)
- PDF Patterns available on our Etsy store (files emailed to you)
Finished ornaments by Steotch, pictured below, on our Etsy store (while they last)
MERTHERFERKIN HERLIDER SWERG:
Awesome, the Christian in Christian Dior
Damn they don’t make ‘em like this anymore.
I ask ‘cause I’m not sure -
Do anybody make real shit anymore?
This beautiful handmade sampler will bring a sense of calm and well being to any home. Relax and enjoy it on your own, or share with friends on the left hand side.
Original available sold
Good product takes time, and this sampler is the result of four months of carefully following every step in our patented formula. A truly one of a kind piece, the sampler is sure to brighten up your kitchen – whether you’re whipping up an extravagant breakfast for junior, or just bringing in pizza and dipping sticks. The cook cannot stop.
Fat stacks, yo. Sold
That’s the kind of sampler I was lookin’ for.
And yes you’ll get slapped if you lookin’ ho!
This sampler is stacked and that’s a fact. This home knows it’s built, and knows how to please.
I already made, like, infinity of these at scout camp.
Some sweet moolah. sold
Howdy ho ho yum yum yum, Christmastime has come!
A present from down below.
My flow, my show brought me the dough
That bought me all my fancy things.
My crib, my cars, my pool, my frankincense…
Get stitch or die tryin’. sold
What are you, chicken?
Are you buy-curious? Say goodbye to these, Michael.
The sampler was created by man.
There are no copies.
It does not have a plan.
Jump! No more Mr. Nice Gaius.
Our dear friends are in wuv. Twu wuv. And this is for them.
Have fun storming the castle, you two.
Update, 10/28: Pattern available.
Hey, is that a new Steotch sampler?
Lord I wanna thank you for EMBROIDERY THREAD and COTTON AIDA CLOTH, for the DMC CORPORATION and MICHAELS CRAFT STORES, for FRAME USA AND MADE IN THE USA WOODEN ECOFRAMES. For the Laptop that brings PERFORMANCE AND POWER to this website, for FLICKR and the image hosting power we see before us tonight.
Love that money. sold