I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.
This American sampler, for Tig:
SOLID GOLD, MOST LUXURIOUS SAMPLER IN THE WORLD. IT’S TERRIFIC.
And, uh, I got a ham.
Finished piece available on our Etsy for just 99 Punky Corns.
String up the lights and light up the tree!
We’re gonna make some revelry!
Spirits are high, so I can tell,
it’s stitching time in hell!
What’s a Christmas tree without quaint handmade cross-stitched ornaments?
FETID ROTTING LUMBER that’s what.
Last year with help from our sensei we brought you memes for your tree.
Now, Steotch Fine New England Needleart is proud to present our new batch of Holla Day Ornaments to keep even the deadest tree looking fly!
AROUND THE WORLD:
IN DA MANGER:
NEW FOR LAST YEAR!
Patterns for our meme ornaments are back on Etsy.
New 2013 ornaments, kits, and patterns coming soon. HO HO HO
(more pics beneath the fold)
We’ve been pushing rope, er, embroidery thread all night, to bring you…
Finished piece on Etsy
Once you’ve been introduced to this lovely handmade sampler, you’ll settle for nothing less. Our needle has been darting in and out of the cotton, creating this beautiful piece. You may even want to break out some fresh linens to match this new decor. It may not smell like a bed of roses, but deep down, it’s very sweet.
The Inaugural Steotch Fine New England Needlearts Stitchalong has ended! Patterns will remain posted through the month of July. The final finished piece is below – so scroll with caution if you don’t want to see it yet.
Thank you to everyone who participated, and everyone who chipped in. Hundreds of you have grabbed all 8 patterns so far, so we expect to see lots of homebrewed samplers coming this way!
See below for the sampler…
AW YISS. It’s that time, beotch! Welcome to the Steotch Fine New England Needlearts Inaugural Mystery Stitchalong.
Edit: 8/1 – The Stitchalong has now closed, and as we warned, the patterns are no longer available. Follow our page on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get notified when the next Stitchalong is underway. Otherwise check back here.
What is it?
We posted a series of cross stitch patterns at this URL. Each pattern revealed a little more of the design. A bunch of crafty craftersons stitched along with us, and created badass samplers of their very own – but didn’t know what they’d created until they’d invested way too much time to allow themselves to see it as anything but a triumph!
They shared their progress using #steotchalong on Twitter.
To see the finished sampler (and pictures from many of the fine steotchers who came along for the ride), check out our results post.
This lovely handmade baby record sampler will be the perfect accent for your home. Put it anywhere in the house. Just make sure it stays in the house. You hear me, sampler? That’s all you have to do, is stay put. Stay. In the house. DAMMIT CARL
Damn, that’s a cold ass sampler.
Rock that muthafucka
on Etsy. sold
OF COURSE IT’S A GOOD IDEA
That is good.
Take Etsy by the throat and make it give you what you desire.
Born a King on Bethlehem’s plain
Gold I bring to crown Him again
They treat me really nicely
They buy me all these icies
Frankincense to offer have I
Incense owns a Deity nigh
Dolce & Gabbana
Fendi and that Donna
Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Karan they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
You can look but you can’t touch it,
If you touch it Ima start some drama
I love to stitch, stitching’s my favorite!
If you’re another human who shares our affinity for elf culture, you might considering buying this Christmas sampler for your home.
In keeping with this spirit, this year we’ve teamed up with our sensei, the great Julie Jackson of Subversive Cross Stitch to bring you:
ERMAHGERD ERNAMERNT KITS – ten in all!
- Kits available over on Subversive Cross Stitch (includes all supplies to make your own)
- PDF Patterns available on our Etsy store (files emailed to you)
Finished ornaments by Steotch, pictured below, on our Etsy store (while they last)
MERTHERFERKIN HERLIDER SWERG:
Awesome, the Christian in Christian Dior
Damn they don’t make ‘em like this anymore.
I ask ‘cause I’m not sure -
Do anybody make real shit anymore?
This beautiful handmade sampler will bring a sense of calm and well being to any home. Relax and enjoy it on your own, or share with friends on the left hand side.
Original available sold
Good product takes time, and this sampler is the result of four months of carefully following every step in our patented formula. A truly one of a kind piece, the sampler is sure to brighten up your kitchen – whether you’re whipping up an extravagant breakfast for junior, or just bringing in pizza and dipping sticks. The cook cannot stop.
Fat stacks, yo. Sold
That’s the kind of sampler I was lookin’ for.
And yes you’ll get slapped if you lookin’ ho!
This sampler is stacked and that’s a fact. This home knows it’s built, and knows how to please.