Steotchalong: The Contest Within


Steotchalong 3 begins on June 15, and as promised, we are incorporating a small contest into this year’s event.  Seeing as each year there’s a bit of a flurry of guesses and speculation once we’re underway, and we always acknowledge the first person to identify the pattern – whether it be on Facebook, Twitter, or the official forums – this year we’re just going to go ahead and make it official:

ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノ    GUESS THE PATTERN AND WIN    ~(˘▾˘~)

Here are the rules:

1)      HOW TO GUESS: On Monday, when we post Pattern 1, we will also post an Official Guesses thread on the forum.  You must use this thread to post your guess.  If you want to shout out your guesses somewhere else on the interwebs, like our Facebook page, that’s fine, but to win the contest, it’s got to be here.  You can only guess once on the official thread.  Choose wisely.

2)      SPECIFICITY:  Your guess needs to have some degree of specificity.  In other words, if – hypothetically speaking – the eventual pattern ends up being Omar Little eating Honey Nut Cheerios – we’re not going to give you the win if you just posted “The Wire” a week earlier.  You need to be more specific.

3)      WHAT’S THE PRIZE?:  The winner will receive a new never-before-seen original finished Steotch sampler, along with a do-it-yourself kit from our Etsy store, and some Steotch postcards and decals.  Suggested retail value:  $78,000.

4)      ATTIRE:  Clothing is optional during the Steotchalong but we recommend sitting on a towel.

5)      WHO CAN PLAY?:  We’re willing to ship the prize package to anywhere in the US or Canada – but not overseas.  If you live somewhere other than America or America’s Hat, and are the first to guess, we will be happy to offer you a generous gift certificate for the Steotch Etsy store.  You do not need to purchase anything to play, and do not need to make a contribution to the pay-what-you-want fund for the Steotchalong.

6)      DISPUTES:  We’re trusting you guys to not take this too seriously.  In any event, let it be set forth here that the winner will be decided by Steotch alone and the decision will be final.


2014 Steotch Ornaments!

Without further delay – your 2014 Steotch Fine Needleart Official Holiday Ornaments have arrived:


happy xmas

Happy Christmas!  {Finished piece}  {PDF pattern}


Walken in a Winter Wonderland!   {Finished piece}   {PDF pattern}


Murray Christmas!   {Finished piece}    {PDF pattern}

Jingle McCringleberry

Jingle McCringleberry!   {Finished piece}   {PDF pattern}

Light Up the Tree

Light up the Tree!   {Finished piece}    {PDF pattern}

… and from our brand to yours, most sincere non-marketingy wishes for a happy holiday.


(Please buy stuff.)



Dear Lord,

The gods have been good to me, and I am thankful. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here’s the deal; you freeze everything as it is and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is okay, please give me absolutely no sign.

Okay, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign.

Thy will be done.



Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to appear in a tortilla in Mexico.

Original piece available on Etsy   Sold



Steotchalong 2 ~ Results!

Steotchalong 2014 is in the books – an enormous, heartfelt thank you to everyone who participated, and kept up the chatter on the forums, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.  We hope you all enjoyed yourselves as much as we enjoyed presiding – and look forward to more stupid events in the future.

Now, check out these samplers!


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Steotchalong 2014: Pattern 8 – Choose Your Own Adventure

Steotchalong Snoop

This is the discussion forum for Pattern 8 – stop by and discuss your options, and share your progress as you finish this sucker.

We’ll be posting again this week soliciting photos of your finished work.

If you haven’t already done so, you might consider tossing a coin in the tip jar, or visiting our Etsy shop for more fun.

five  ten  fifteen  twenty

(Paypal link will open in a new tab.) You may download Pattern 8 below.

and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for steotching along…

Steotchalong 2014 – Pattern 8  (PDF – 15 Pages)   Links to patterns removed!  Sorry beotch.

#Steotchalong 2014: Final In-Progress Round-Up

The ironic cross stitching world waits with bated breath for tomorrow’s final pattern.

Let’s check in with our little beotches on Twitter and Instagram to see who’s ready…

Sleep well, kiddies.

Tomorrow, we sew in hell.


Pattern 7 Eve: Where Things Stand

The white is o’er, the battle done.

Here’s some white white WIPS as we head into the final two stages of #Steotchalong 2014.


And then there’s the smug few who picked a darker aida, and have been laughing their asses of this whole time…

And then there’s just plain overconfidence…

See you tomorrow, little beotches.

Home stretch!