What is it?

We’re going to post a series of cross stitch patterns at this URL.  Each pattern will reveal a little more of the design.  You stitch along with us, and create a badass sampler of your very own – but you won’t know what you’ve created until you’ve invested way too much time to allow yourself to see it as anything but a triumph!

How often will you post the patterns?

We’ll post a new pattern twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays, beginning on May 27, 2013, ending on June 20, 2013.  Follow our page on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get notified when there’s a new pattern posted.  Otherwise check back here.

Share your progress using #steotchalong on Twitter or posting pix to our FB.  We’ll have other ways to interact as we go along.  If everyone is having trouble keeping up with the pattern schedule, we may slow down, so stay tuned.

What’s the finished sampler going to look like?

We’re not telling you, that’s what makes it mysterious and fun. But we’re really quite pleased with ourselves more than usual with this pattern. It will not suck.  Think along the lines of House and the Cook. If you like those, you’ll probably like this a lot.

How big will the final sampler be?

It’ll be suitable for framing in a 5″x7″ frame, so a pretty decent size.

What materials will I need?

DMC Floss:

• 310
• 316
• 368
• 433
• 434
• 435
• 436
• 437*
• 632
• 738*
• 739
• 801
• 898
• 938
• 3371**
• 3772
• ECRU*

(*only small amounts;  ** you’ll need the whole skein)

You can use any gauge of fabric, but if you want the final sampler to fit nicely in a 5×7 frame, we recommend Aida 16.  We suggest “antique white.”

Do I have to be good at cross stitching?

If you’re totally new to cross stitching, we can’t promise you won’t have a little trouble keeping pace – but we’ve designed the pattern to be easy to complete for stitchers of all ability levels.  If you fall behind, we won’t post spoilers above the fold on this link, so just don’t scroll down or read the comments.

The pattern uses cross stitches, quarter stitches, backstitching, and optional french knots.  No fancy ninja stitching.  It’s a very involved pattern, but doesn’t require extensive experience.  We use blended entries (using 2 different colored threads to make stitches, instead of stitching with 2 of the same, like usual).  We’ll post some basic directions, too.

Is it going to cost anything?

No, it’s free to play along.  If you want to chip in something, you can.  We’ve always said we’re like the Radiohead of infrequently-updated craft blogs.

Here are some links you can use to send us something via Paypal, if you want.

And yes, please share this announcement – the more people stitching, the more fun.

Customizable Blue Pattern

Customizable Pink Pattern

on tumblr

Rock that muthafucka on Etsy.  sold

Pattern available

Also on our  Tumblr

Run Away!

Finished piece and pattern available on our Etsy.

That is good.

Take Etsy by the throat and make it give you what you desire.

Pattern  Finished piece

Born a King on Bethlehem’s plain
Gold I bring to crown Him again
They treat me really nicely
They buy me all these icies

Frankincense to offer have I
Incense owns a Deity nigh
Dolce & Gabbana
Fendi and that Donna

Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Karan they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’

O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
You can look but you can’t touch it,
If you touch it Ima start some drama

Check it out ~ finished piece – pdf pattern

If you’re another human who shares our affinity for elf culture, you might considering buying this Christmas sampler for your home.

Finished piece and PDF pattern available.

In keeping with this spirit, this year we’ve teamed up with our sensei, the great Julie Jackson of Subversive Cross Stitch to bring you:

ERMAHGERD ERNAMERNT KITS – ten in all!

Purchasing Options:

• Kits available over on Subversive Cross Stitch (includes all supplies to make your own)
• PDF Patterns available on our Etsy store (files emailed to you)
• Finished ornaments by Steotch, pictured below, on our Etsy store (while they last)

MERTHERFERKIN HERLIDER SWERG:

            Kits            PDF Patterns           Finished Ornaments (gone)

SO SEASONAL!

Exciting isn’t it? A special kind of business.  sold

Haul Ass