Steotchalong 5: Back On My Bullshit

OFFICIAL RULES AND SUCH:  Please read carefully!


It’s the return of the internet’s premier cross stitch mystery stitchalong.  We create a mystery pattern and dole it out to you in weekly installments.  You don’t know what you’re stitching at first, but it slowly becomes apparent as you go along, and by the time you figure it out, you and thousands of your new friends around the world are having too much fun to stop.  Also, there are jokes.


It’s for fun.  It’s for making friends.  It’s for sharing your talents.  It’s for sending Steotch a little do re me.


Anyone can join in- you, your moms, your gramps, your kid.  It’s open to anyone around the world who wants to take part.  This year’s design is built to be very accessible- quick and easy. Learn to stitch with us!  There’ll never be a better time.

Each week’s pattern will be fast to stitch up- you’ll hardly have to put down that margarita all summer long.  There will be different text and image options to choose from in the final pattern installment, some of which may be more complex than others, but overall, the basic design is very simple.


Weekly and for 7 weeks, starting in July, we will post a pattern to our website (  Go there and download it.  Each week’s pattern will build on the previous one, but completed stitches will be grayed out to make it easy to follow.  Trust us, it’ll work beautifully.  We’ve hardly ever fucked it up.  Follow us on our website or any of our other outlets (FB, Twitter, Instagram, Tinder, Yo, Angry Birds Cross Stitch, etc.), and you’ll never miss a single pattern release.


Patterns will release at Midnight (or thereabouts) each Monday for seven weeks, starting on July 3.

  •             July 3- Pattern 1
  •             July 10- Pattern 2
  •             July 17- Pattern 3
  •             July 24- Pattern 4
  •             July 31- Pattern 5
  •             August 7- Pattern 6
  •             August 14- Final Patterns


You’ll need your basic cross stitch supplies- fabric, thread, needle, scissors, a hoop if you dig it, bourbon shots, you know- the usual.  This year’s design will be a return to our standard size- about 65×97 stitches.  We stitch on 16-count Aida fabric- using that or an equivalent gauge of evenweave will give you a final design that fits perfectly in a standard 5×7 frame.

Aim for a light colored fabric- white or antique white would work well… or if you’re feeling adventurous, you do you.


THERE WILL BE TWO THREAD LISTS.  The first thread list is here below.  The final pattern release will have many design options to pick from, some of which will have additional threads not on this list.  We can’t give you the whole list now because we want to let the choose-your-own-adventure aspect be as fun and varied as it can be.  Don’t fret- we’ll also try to keep that pattern simple, and you’ll be under no deadline keep up with a schedule.

Here are the threads you’ll need for the first six weeks–

One skein of each will more than suffice:
  • DMC 347 – salmon – very dark
  • DMC 351 – coral
  • DMC 353 – peach
  • DMC 827 – blue – very light
  • DMC 926 – gray green – medium
  • DMC 931 – antique blue – medium
  • DMC 3750 – antique blue – very dark



The Steotchalong will once again be a pay-what-you-want model.  There will be buttons up on our website if you would be so kind as to contribute to the game.  Your financial contribution helps ensure that we keep this thing going year after year.


Oh indeed.  We’ll be running a few contests during the summer, and this year one of them will put a premium on stitching with friends.  Start thinking about pulling together Steotchalong meetups.

We’ll host one in the Triangle of North Carolina – but we’ll also meet your gathering via Skype, as well as regularly checking in with you all via Facebook Live.  This should be our most interactive event yet.

Also, this year, we will forgo the bulletin boards we used in previous years in favor of a secret Facebook group for Steotchalongers only.  While we recognize some of you don’t partake in Facebook, you can still share your work as always, using other social media platforms.  We think the FB group could prove to be a great way to share our progress and generally kibbitz in ways that haven’t happened previously.  Plus it seems like a good community-builder, so we’re going to give it a shot.  Watch our Facebook page for the link.


There are no sign-ups, no loyalty oaths, no gods, no masters.  Just stitching and bullshit.

10 thoughts on “Steotchalong 5: Back On My Bullshit

  1. Hannah Morgan

    So. EXCITED!!!

    Also, if anyone has the last two patterns for last year hanging around I could really use them… I missed the last two (I was out of town) and when I got back they were removed. I stitched up until pattern 5 and printed up to pattern 8. I need 9 and 10!! I love GoT and would really love to finish it! Pity me :'(


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